My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I just gargled with NyQuil
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
