The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
