I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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