dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
