one might say we're banned from that church
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i wish my penis had a tongue
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
