Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I wish you could order shots online.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
