You smell like stripper and shame
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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