last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
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I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
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The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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