It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
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