Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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