well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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