Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
