woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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