dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
