this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
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I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
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There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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