spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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