fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
