What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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