There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
