hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
