My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
