She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
there is glitter all over my balls
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
