when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
