i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
