think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Randomize
