I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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