I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
