My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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