I need help removing her.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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