i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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