Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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