Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
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