What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
