There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
