There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
