moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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