dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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