the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
