And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
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