help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
