i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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