HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Randomize
