standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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