I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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