Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Randomize
