so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
