Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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