If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
