:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
