she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
