also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
