What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
nutella sex= disaster
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
