I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
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