On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
