he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
i've created a new STD.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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