i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
