I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
