I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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