I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Randomize
