its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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