Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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