Sponge bath it is.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Randomize
