Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
