Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
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