We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
