Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
