Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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