There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
