I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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