you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
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I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
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Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
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