I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
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