What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
