im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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