whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
