worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
